Recovery

Sorry it's taken a few days for me to get my blog on. I needed a little time to put things in perspective and collect my thoughts. I'm not sure that I'm there yet, but it's probably as good as it's going to get so I might as well blog away.

I'm having a hard enough time figuring out what to title this blog...not to mention writing it!

Saturday found the drum corps in Kingston, NY...home of some historically BAD Bushwacker performances. We're not exactly popular in Kingston, and that's fine...but we have a bit of a history of laying an egg on the field and calling it a show. Saturday night wasn't really all that different...in fact, it lived up to history in a big way.

The unusual thing was that the day was stellar in many ways. The weather was cool, but REALLY sunny. It got warmer later on, but usually it's a hot, humid mess of a day in Kingston. Not so in 2007. Drill rehearsal was focused and productive. I hurt my shoulder a few weeks ago (actually I hurt it in 2001 and re-hurt it in a big way a few weeks ago), so I couldn't really conduct during visual rehearsal so I got to go out on the field and work with the mellophones a bit with drill. I love teaching. I love being out there in the trenches hearing the conversations, learning the personalities, watching someone's light bulb go off because of something I said or put a different way than they had thought about it before. It's so fulfilling, and it brings a part out of me that I really like...a positive, patient person who truly cares about his members. I can't say that's the kind of drum major I'm known for being. I'm more of a fiery, no nonsense, do your job and let's rock and/or roll type of major.

Anyway, the point is it was fun and we got better.

Sectionals went well, and ensemble rehearsal, while hot and exhausting, was one of the best ensemble blocks of the year. This had the makings of a throw down show.

Side note...another guard member had to go to the hospital on Saturday after unsuccessfully trying to catch a flag with his head. Brian is very talented and a real trooper...he went got done what needed to be done at the hospital and was in the show that night. I won't even pretend to understand colorguard one iota, but I think it's awfully telling that we have people who have aches and pains who sit out reps, and the guard is constantly getting whacked and hit and bruised and yet you would have to pry their hands from their equipment and chain them to the gate to keep them off the field.

I don't think they get enough credit for that. Yes, they talk constantly and wear "interesting" clothing to rehearsal...but you have to give it up. That which goes up must come down, and more often than not it hurts...and yet there they are with a smile continuing to perform.

Warm ups went okay, by all indications...I spend my warm up time with the battery percussion, so I can only go on 2nd and 3rd hand information for the other sections. I really thought we were primed to go out there and claim the top spot for ourselves. We certainly have it in us. We certainly have the show to beat anyone. We have the talent. We have the instruction.

We didn't have "IT" on Saturday night, though. "IT" = the intangible spark...that energy and intensity that makes drum corps cool. We didn't have it. I could tell from the first note of the brass warm up that this just wasn't going to be the night. I did everything I could do...people on the field were doing everything they could do...but it just wasn't there.

How do you manufacture "IT"? See...to me it's just something you have inside you...a love for the activity, the adrenaline rush of standing at the gate waiting for your enemy to get off YOUR field...the rush of seeing the crowd and the stadium lights, and the knowledge that you have the ability to make all of those people FEEL. We didn't. The crowd was apathetic, and so were we. We didn't want to be, but we were...and the judges gave us an apathetic number that we deserved.

I don't get it. It doesn't compute in my brain, and I can't identify with it. How do you lose intensity from warm up to the gate? How can you do drum corps without that inner drive and intensity inside of you? What is it going to take to light your soul on fire for 10 minutes while you hold the collective emotion of a few thousand people in the palm of your hand?

MUSIC and ART have the ability to elicit emotions, both good and bad. We did not do our jobs. We failed our art on Saturday night in Kingston. We did not make anyone feel anything except disappointment. The crowd was disappointed because they paid good money to see the defending brass and guard champions rock their socks off. We were disappointed because we KNOW that we have it in us to be WORLD CHAMPIONS, and yet we squandered a precious opportunity to make up ground. The judges were disappointed because they've come to expect more out of us.

But how do you "turn it on"? What is the key? Is it too late to teach this group, this young group of many new Bushwackers who have been to hell and back with this drum corps this season, how to flip the switch and become animals? I don't know. For me, I'm able to draw upon the experiences of the entire summer as my inspiration. I go out there with rage for how our winter went with the move to Franklin, the "corps hall", the move back to Ridgefield Park, the parades, the revolving door...all of it. We're still here! We're ranked 4th in the world, and were only 2.1 away from the #1 ranked team just 2 weeks ago! All that nonsense this year, and we're still right there! How do you not walk a little taller, puff your chest out and walk around like you OWN the place? How? Why? What is it going to take?

Well...maybe it takes getting your butts beat. In this situation there are only two ways you can go. You can quit and give up, or you can fight like hell. There is no middle ground. Status quo is quitting. Going full out from here to the end is fighting. What is it going to be?

I don't know about everyone else...but I know what I'm going to do. (so do you, if you've been reading this blog for a while.)

Let me say, for the record, that there is nothing unique to the Bushwackers about what I've said above. We're not an apathetic group of people. We're a passionate corps that loves what we do. We love our show and we love each other and for this to happen is a major disappointment because we know we're better than that. We've had electric shows...just two weeks ago in Chambersburg we lit it up. We have it in us and we know it.

Even the stuff about the move and the failure that was the "corps hall" experiment and the infamous "revolving door" is not unique to the Bushwackers. Many, many corps go through it every year. It's a reality for nearly all senior corps...even if they won't admit it or talk about it (which none of them will). It's the eternal struggle between weekend hobby and a way of life. I'm the latter, and many are the former. It's just the way it is.

We need to figure it out, though. We, as a drum corps, need to decide to go or stand aside. We need to decide between top 3 and making a hell of a run for the top spot, or bottom 5. This is not a bottom 5 drum corps. This is a championship caliber drum corps with flashes of brilliance.

I believe in the Bushwackers. I've been around long enough to know that every year has its own personality, but the Bushwacker in us always comes out at some point...that rabid fighter that refuses to go down without a battle of epic proportions. Even if we come in last, we're going to fight. If we can find that, harness it, and roll with it this weekend in Scranton...I'm telling you this thing ain't over...not by a long shot. You can dismiss me, but I know my corps and I know this circuit. I honestly, 100%, beyond a shadow of a doubt still believe that this corps...the 2007 Bushwackers...are absolutely capable of winning a world championship THIS year. Don't even bother telling me that we can't.

I don't believe in slotting. I think that it's an aberration that bad drum corps believe in to justify their bad scores without having to look in the mirror.

I believe the windows of opportunity are just that...windows, and windows are made of glass...and glass can be broken.

I believe that emotion, not execution, fuels this activity...at least in DCA...and that even the most "esoteric" show can be entertaining if it's performed and emoted.

I believe in rage and anger...I also believe in elation and love...and I believe that you can harness them and put them into your performance.

I believe that the corps that wants it the most will get it.

I know I want it.

Yeah, I know...REAL Cadet moment there with all of the "I believe" stuff.




...but the time has come to put up or shut up. The time has come to drop the egos and do your flippin' job. In fact, it's been that time for months now.

You either are a champion or you're not. These next two weeks will complete the story of the 2007 Bushwackers. It's been an amazing story so far, with plenty of ups and downs...like any good story. It's been anything but boring. I just hope we have a good ending in us. I believe we do.